Man, I hate it when an elderly relative gets too far gone and you have to put them down. I guess it happens to all of us sooner or later. But sadly, I think it's time to put Damon Albarn on the proverbial ice floe and give it a good shove into the sea.
My brother (via SMS): Have you heard the new Damon Albarn album?
Me: Yes
My brother: It made me question my entire adolescence.
Sigh. Here's a sample.
I loved the fuck out of Blur back in the day. The WOO-HOO song was just like a gateway drug, frankly. I bought every album and played them to death. My brother and I regularly watched the DVD with all their videos. I used to sing "This is a Low" to my babies during lullaby time. I first cheated on my ex-husband to "Tender." Good memories.
I mean SRSLY, remember this? This was totally the shit!
And there, fronting it all, was Damon Albarn, with all his British-Bad-Boy-Sexy everywhere.
UNGH! With those blue eyes and dark eyebrows, looking like one of those hot-ass trophy boyfriends who probably cheated on you but you didn't care and you just knew he would eventually settle down when you managed to rope him into fatherhood almost completely against his will. Damn, baby.
And let's not forget Gorillaz, which was also killah, as they say...
Loved them also.
Then he did this collaboration with Danger Mouse, who I adore, called The Good, the Bad & the Queen. I bought it. It was ok. Which, thinking back, was really a disappointment since I loved both of them. Then he did another side project with Flea and Tony Allen called Rocket Juice & the Moon which I had never even heard of until I started writing this blog entry. I guess the writing was on the wall.
And that's when XMU started playing tracks from Everyday Robots. Jesus Christ what a pile of crap. I mean, honest to God, the new Morrissey album is better than this. MORRISSEY, people. Yeah, I said it. (Shudder.)
(Thanks to my brother for that hilarious fake Morrissey quote.)
Y'all, I don't know what else to say. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, DAMON ALBARN? DOES ANYONE KNOW? CAN SOMEONE HELP ME?
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