MOTHERFUCKIN FACEMELTING AT MELTASIA

Ever since I heard about Meltasia Music Festival I all was hot to git my ass up there. I think I heard the first announcement via Danava's fb post and I got all kinds of pumped- cause SRSLY. WTF? WHO PLAYS LaFayette GA??? (pronounced Luh-FAY-ette, cause we don't like to sound like a bunch of fucking frogs in Georgia) and then I know I heard an announcement on the Obelisk fb too and it was like cemented into my brain. 

So I started following the event page like a total fucking fangirl, and even that was awesome. Homeboy throwing the party posted up a playlist on YT to get yerself all hyped up AND HOW. In fact I basically wrote a whole post about on the RawkTalk fb comments section. But I could totally re-post them here. But first, git yerself all werked up for these prancin ponies:

BOA hot n nasty 

so clearly I was hella stoked on Black Oak Arkansas after gettin into the playlist. Like I know I had seen some BOA records before but felt suspicious of them, so I never really knew how fucking awesome they are. So nice job Meltasia for bringing that into my life. So I totally watched the documentary then got waaaaaay bent outta shape over young Jim Dandy. Behold: 

UUGGHH!!! YOUNG JIM DANDY WHAT IS NOT TO LIKE???

I even went so far as to make him my Lockscreen Loverboy™ (dig that package tho):

In between the announcement of Meltasia and the actual event I went to the World's Longest Yardsale with my mom, sisters, and niece and nephews (it was waaay fucking fun). I ended up finding several BOA records-awesome! It was actually crazy because the very first stop we made in Gadsden, AL there was a dude with a ton of vinyl spread out on a tarp in a church parking lot (under a tree, thank god)- he had a such an amazing selection of shit- but y'know in varying degrees of beat up to great condition. I got all hype for the BOA album and he was like "they used to hang out here in Gadsden a bunch back in the day, Jim Dandy n 'em....."

oddly enough- the Alabama (the band Alabama) museum is also in Gadsden, but no time to check it out...

my haul:

Totally scored that and the Grand Funk red album, Bloodrock, and fuck it I don't have Band of Gypsies on vinyl, why not. The prices were great but he kept telling me he had more vinyl in the back of his van and don't I want to look, and you know what? Actually I did, but my family was wrapping up and I really needed to jet too...but I did peek in there:

I'm good, thanks.

There was loads of other awesome stuff on that journey, but that's another story for another time....

This was scored at our final stop in Signal Mountain, TN- awesome!! 

So moving beyond my Jim Dandy crush, the festival held a contest to win tickets! Enter your own artwork for the festival mascot, Melty the possum! Now I love me some damn drawing! I am a Master of Stick Figured Renderings™. I was fully stoked to enter this contest but alas, I did not win :-( 

But it doesn't even matter because all the other drawings on the IG and FB pages were hella entertaining, and ones much better and also much worse than ours. 

our drawings:

area.personailty's depicts all the bands and Melty the possum in MS Paint glory

iwishuwould's depicts both of us in big tittied centaur form crushing Kadavar's skulls while Danava (-1, sorry for the inaccuracy) melts everyone's faces off, as well as Melty the possum, and booze bottles, and a merch table (featuring a lonely merch man)

I was super stoked to see Danava right here in my own proverbial backyard, but I think my stick figured rendering of them was slightly off, as i have never seen them in person before. here they go rawkin:



The only foreseeable problem with Meltasia was the fucking oppressive heat and humidity that defines Georgia in the summertime (and I don't know where the fuck you're from, but the first week of September in Georgia, is essentially still August, the hottest, most hellacious, month of all). Now I love rawkin, and I love camping, but I fucking HATE the heat. There is no escaping it here. The same weekend of Meltasia was the Yellow Daisy festival at Stone Mountain (my native homeland) and I was planning on hitting it before I took off to LaFayette. At one point that day I looked down to find my wrist sweating. I would have died had I spent the entire weekend at Meltasia. 

Fortunately, prior to that weekend I had enough sense, and live in such a proximity that I felt a scouting mission was in order. Find the route up there, scope the campgrounds, and feel if there is any useful difference in temperature. It was also a chance to test the waters of my new car, the wagonette. Behold, the wagonette, in the field at Cherokee farms, LaFayette, GA:

doesn't it just look hot as forty hells??

This was a good idea on my part, because I learned that it was hot as balls up there and there was no fucking way id make it camping there all weekend. It was also really sad for me to make the decision to only go for part of the festival. I really wanted to catch a lot of those bands, but I didn't need to die doing it. 

the event:

I'm a fucking shitty thief: Here's the poster I swiped with the schedule.

It was, sadly, still hot as balls, so we had to just go for one day. Although all the days had great lineups, I would have been the saddest to miss Sunday, so Sunday it was. Now in addition to Danava and BOA I was looking forward to catching Lecherous Gaze- they are label mates of Kadavar so it must be somethin to it! I really would've liked to have seen all the bands but it just wasn't in the cards man.

So anyway, we hauled our asses up there and I did my normal pre-event panic. I had even had the customary anxiety dreams about the event in the days leading up. Classic.

There was some confusion at the entry, but everyone was really friendly, so zero fucks given. We parked and spent a short eternity bracing ourselves to get out into the heat. We were instantly greeted by a super friendly older dude with a tupperware container full of mushrooms and space cake. He gave us some neighborly tips about the lay of the land, and we were good to go. This was the first inkling that this was a terribly small scale event- I kinda had wondered because of the few followers on the FB event page, but it was so many bands on the roster, and not just small names either (or at least to me), I couldn't imagine that this shit was not going to be massive. 

Perhaps the location and the temp are what kept folks away? Ain't nobody want to go to LaFayette. 

The festival had three stages, and everything was timed out to happen right after each other. It was really set up great- lots of wandering space, fucking professional looking setups, sound, lights, the werks. So once we got settled in with a beer we wandered over the orange stage 

Once again I fucking swiped this: A map of the whole party.

 Manic

This was a lovely set to get acclimated to. Also this was great because there was totally all these tents and tables and chairs and shit by the sides of the stages! Perfect for olds like us! In fact this was the perfect lotto scratchin table. And what could make for a more perfect day then scratchin some lotto and gittin yer fuckin face melted off? 

Later on we ran into them at the bbq chicken truck and told them their set was fun. FUN.

Ecstatic Vision

After re-upping on delicious beers we swayed slowly down the hill towards this totally magical sound emanating from the blue stage. This was where shit really started to hit the fan in terms of facemelting. This fucking ass shit was nonstop rocking my fucking face off. This was Ecstatic Visions from Philadelphia. They totally had TWO motherfucking drummers and homeboy on guitar/vocals had a fucking chimes set swinging from his mic. *SWEET* They had a real psychedelic sound, and it was also fucking heavy and righteous. I read on the Obelisk that they are signing up to make an album due out next year. STOKED FOR THAT SHIT. 

They were totally awesome and the dude just kept kicking the shit out the chimes when it was chime time. Love them! 

[note from area.personality:  This is about the only thing from Meltasia that I actually remember, and it was mainly because of the Crotch Chimes™.  They were truly magical.]



The view down towards the stage- can you even believe how few people were there? What in the actual hell???

After that we strolled across the field over to the other side of the lake to try and catch Mr Elevator and the Brain Hotel. I had actually like just seen the name of that band on the Austin Psych Fest fb page the other day- where they asked what bands people want to see at next years festival and I had seen someone listed them so I was kinda stoked to check it out. But to be honest I wasn't really feelin it, maybe it was just the heat. I mean, they include ORGANS which is like one of my fave psychedelic elements in music, so totally worth revisiting some other time.

We chilled out at these picnic tables for a second and scoped the lake. Maaaan, I could swim in a lake, but they just looks like they full of fuckin snakes, so no. 

[note from area.personality:  i could swim in a lake, too, but that shit was soup, and what them hippies was brewin up in there i did not want swimmin' around in my treasures.]

We caught a glimpse of Jim Motherfucking Dandy!!! and with his lady friend! They were a sight to behold, but man i had to go into str8 up stalker mode to take this foto. Its not like they even gave a shit people were totally coming up for fotos, and we should've totally done it too but sadly I was in panic mode so we had to use Stalker Vision™ to capture this image. There they go, way the fuck back there:

Lecherous Gaze 

We walked back over to the blue stage to see Lecherous Gaze and also to eat. By that time the only food options were bbq chicken legs and burgers. And that was fiiine. Eating and waiting for LG under the tent we also saw Black Linen from Atlanta- it was kinda jangly poppy sounding and we were not really feeling it, but I mean they sounded good, just not what I'm into. 

Delicious foods of Meltasia 

the crowd for Lecherous Gaze from our vantage point seated under the tent (clearly more people came out than earlier since the sun was going away)

StalkerVision™ activate! ultra zoom fotos of facemelting

To be honest I really was diggin LG but I was not really feelin the singer- he kept just, well, basically doing what I do when I'm all wasted which is just kinda slur and grunt out all the words to songs. Maybe he was wasted? Maybe they always sound like that. Who knows. The band was great tho and I still fully enjoyed that shit. 

Here's what they be soundin like:



It was all cool how that hill was back there in the background, it made for some artsy shots whenever hippies and the like would wander up there. 

Black Oak Arkansas

This was the most crowded I saw any one stage the whole time we were there. It was a nice time of day when things started to cool off just a pube, and the mood got all romantical what with the sun going down and all. We wandered around to find a nice place to sit and vape and vape and bitch together. 

To be perfectly honest I was kinda bummed out because they were playing all their new music and not the hits (which is totally fiiiine, but i mean, y'know...) and it was kinda slower jams and I just was not feelin it. But it was a cool vibe and in between songs he kept sputtering out all this madness and I had no idea what the fuck he was going on about like at all. Maybe it was just me. Maybe it was him. Who knows. But either way that was kinda fun. 

[note from area.personality:  ok, i do remember this.  it was just awful.  sorry dawg.  i actually made us move before it was over to get my body away from this mess.  BOA had their moment.  it's fucking over.  srsly.]

Finally we had to take off towards the final show we were gonna be able to catch which was Danava. Sadly we had to return to Atlanta that night and therefore couldn't experience Meltasia in all its intended glory. But we were in for one last kickass surprise:

DANAVA FEATURING JIM MOTHERFUCKING DANDY

and that was totally the proverbial cherry on top. 

and here was what that looked like: 

and here was what it sounded like:


Well it looks like homeboy is going to do it again next year, but sadly it may be in Florida somewhere. Somewhere even hotter and swampier. That's not to say I wouldn't go. I'd totally go. 

BUT WAIT: YOU FORGOT THE FUCKING MERCH!!!!!!!!!

OMG I almost cried when I realized I forgot to get some fucking MERCH, maaaaaaan!

I got all into a panic once I realized my error. I frantically sent homeboy a message, begging for merch. And he was so kind he actually sent me some fucking shirts. GOD BLESS YOU, ANDY ANIMAL!!

Here I go in my merch. Behold, the look of satisfaction:

And here goes some innerwebz stalkerazzi fotos of Andy Animal, homeboy who threw the party.

MMMMMM DREAMBOAT HEARTTHROB LOVERBOY. 

I would be remiss if I did not fret over at least one boy during this entry. As you all know I typically go for the lawng haired skittly type. But I especially love me a big ol sloppy dirtbag type, although it would be inaccurate to call this man a dirtbag. He was totally kind (with regards to the merch) and obvi threw a kickass party. Luckily I am not the only chick on the innerweb with a major boner for him, so I feel slightly less crazy admitting this here (alternatively every chick I work with has seen these fotos and listened to me get all werked up over him ad nauseum, just as I have listened to every detail of their crushes on every clean cut vanilla ass white boy/dark chocolate baldhead). All that being said, it kind of ruins it for me, in terms of talking SO MUCH MOTHERFUCKING SHIT about how hot a dude is after having actually interacted with him in some level in real life.

All of that being said, I would like to dedicate this Ween song to dear Andy: we had the best time at your party, amigo. Hope to get our fucking faces melted off at meltasia again in 2015!!!

Love Clearinghouse! FTW! Part 2

You know what I'm really bad about?  Having a part 1 and not a part 2.  I looked back at this series I was going to do, and it was all miserable and self-indulgent and not any good, really.

But you know, there's always gotta be a part 2, at least, when there's a part 1.  And since it's all about LUV I gotta finish this shit in February.

Instead of all the miserable and confusing commentary, though, I think I'll just leave it at a few shout-outs to past loves and call it a day.  And when you see how bad the songs are that are associated with my train wreck of a love life, well, it should tell you something.

Everything about my heart must go...

At least the first one rocks still!  This one is for my first real boyfriend, my high school sweetheart.  We were together for about five years, which was more than 25% of my life back then, so it was a big deal.  I totally loved him, but I knew it couldn't go on forever, so we broke up and got back together a lot.  This is the song about breaking up all the time.  LOL I thought I was such a grown-ass woman back then!  I didn't know shit!  It's actually shocking that I can still be taken aback by how shitty and miserable love is.  Anyway, thanks Janis...



Then there was this boy I had a brief relationship with...  Now that I'm so old it feels weird to even think about the teenage version of myself having "relationships."  Anyway, that one was awesome for what it was, but it ended badly and with distance.  A few years later this song came out, and his was the part of my heart I sang it to.  The bright spot in this post is that I found this recording with J. Mascis, my favorite musician in the entire universe and only possible candidate for Lockscreen Loverboy™.



This one's a weird one.  I went to see the Moody Blues with my college boyfriend, and I think that's when I learned of this horrible MB songs from their 'yes, we're still current' era.  There's even a horribly dated official video that goes with it.  Anyway, this is a stupid and peppy song that I knew back then I would hear at some point later in my life and think of that kid.  He was a good guy.  It was doomed from the start.



There's probably a ton of songs that would remind me of my utter failure of a marriage that I STILL DO NOT EVEN LIKE TO THINK ABOUT BECAUSE IT WAS SO GROTY, but let's just go with this one.  Yeah, this was an end-of-relationship gemstone.



GUH, sorry about all the late phase rawking!  Anyway, fast forward through all that mess and here's a song for Thor's father.  Now let's be clear, Thor's father and I never hung out and listened to music together.  Thor's father was very briefly and transitorily in my heartspace for one reason and one reason only:  I was experiencing The Heat™, and he is the Master Progenitor™.  But I was listening to this song a lot during that era, so here goes.



And finally, there's this song.  For that other guy.  The one who never showed up.

Ahhhh looooove.....

We need to talk: CRUSH DU JOUR: Radio Moscow

Look, I know its been a while, and I can't keep my damn thoughts straight any more. I don't know what we have an haven't discussed on this blog any more. Did I actually write that shit? on an actual computer? Or did I just think about writing about it constantly?

That being said, I think I really need to address my Radio Moscow obsession. 

 GOTDAYUM THEM HOT AS 40 HELLS.

I first heard about Radio Moscow from the dude at the record store at the beach. What a great guy! I asked to play a couple of used records and he was into all the shit i was bringin up there, so he made me some recommendations on some new shit I'd be into and Radio Moscow was one of them. RIGHT FUCKING ON HOMEBOY. NICE JOB!!!! Although admittedly at first I was like ummm Radio Moscow? I fucking hate Russian people. I dunno if I can get into that, he was all like nah nah they're from the Midwest or some shit. GOOD. (Although I really dig that lil group the Re-stoned, who are Russian, despite that they are Russians. I guess I can't generalize everybody as hard as I want to)

Here goes one of my favorite songs by them off the 2009 album Brain Cycles:



I love this fucking song- it not only facemelts, but also has a killer drum solo, and them knockin cymbals or whatever clackin around back there. Also I always love that his vocals are reverbed the fuck to death.  

When I first googled them I was kinda like, damn look at these lil floaty lookin thangs! These lil flower children and shit! But you would never know it to look at them how fucking heavy, psychedelic, bluesy, and RAWKIN they actually are. Not to mention they have a good look. I totally dig their style. 

Also I really like it when long haired boys are laughing and smiling. SIGH

So of course I bought it on vinyl from homeboy at the beach, but I don't think it came with a download code: BUMMER. (Side note: I think if I'm buying a new a new album and its a fucking record, that shit should come with a download code. C'mon man, srsly. A new record is like $20, throw me a fucking bone already). So I think my listening to it was limited to the living room for a while, which is not a big deal, but I really want to have that shit in my car when its some bitchin scenery, in my headphones when I'm walking up Stone Mountain, etc. So some kinda way I got me some digital copies of the their albums and ever since then its been AWN.

Here's that rock I'm always climbin. 
Radio Moscow are TOTAL fucking mountain climbing music too, lemme tell ya. 
 

They have been absolutely rawkin my fuckin face off for like the last year and a half. I ended up getting that Alive at the Deep Blues Fest album in Chattanooga, and that shit is fucking incredibly good too. It really made me want to see them live, and I really wished they had been at the Austin Psych Fest last year, but they keep touring the fucking world, but aren't ever touring the fucking states. And I'm like hello! Y'all! I'm down to travel for shows, y'all all know that, but the shit is not coinciding for me and Radio Moscow and I'm really ready to get shredded fucking live with them sometime this century.

Also i really want them to come here on here tour because i am in desperate need of some MERRRRRRR-CH, maaaaaan. 

My friend Don, the mastermind behind the Great Southern Brainfart, said that he was nonplussed by their live performance when he seent them open for Graveyard in Atlanta a couple years back. I think Don's just jealous that I'm all dickmatized by them tho, and I will be the judge of that when I finally get to see them live too. So there.

So they had a new album come out last year. Its also the jam.  Here goes a version of "So Alone" live from the Magical Dirt album


I love how he's always talkin bout bein' so alone, and confused, and heartbroken and shit, and I'm like dayum shawty, I bet I could clear some shit up for you....

While I was internet stalking researching Radio Moscow at werk one day (shhhh! that shit is SO not allowed! I rarely have time for it at work, but you know, you can't stop when you're feelin all obsessed and shit) I enjoyed a good conversation with my coworker (a 45 year old black chick from NYC) about which one of them could fuck the best, which was totally entertaining. Thanks Dhonyale, but we will have to agree to disagree on that one, until one of us does some real journalism and actually tests those waters, we'll just keep guessing. 

But srsly y'all, I'm having a huge crush on Parker Griggs, the likes of which I haven't seen since I was madly in love with Lupus Lindemann of Kadavar about this time last year. I've been being a creepy internet stalker. Sorry Parker, I know you are a real person, with your own life beyond rawkin everyone's fucking face off, but you are elevated to fantasy dream date status in my world.

Ah, that phrase warranted an illustration from area.personality. Behold, an MS Paint masterpiece!

OMG I thought I was going to DIE when she sent me this! I love that she chose the picture of him with the gnarly stitches in his fucking forehead, because she is my best friend and she knows that I love a dude with scars. SIGH

When I first was inspired to google the "Dream Date" board game I also encountered the "Heartthrob" game, which totally also warranted an Area.Personality MS Paint Magic™ treatment, featuring area.personality and dear Kadavar. Behold:

Yeah, you got a hold on me, braj.



One of the other things I'm stoked about with Radio Moscow is that there is so much more for me to hear from them that I haven't heard yet. There's a couple other lil nuggets floatin around out there, aside from the three albums that I got, including some re-release demo bits. Also hoping they keep putting out gems forever.

I'm not crazy about the album artwork but that doesn't really matter so much as the actual music. But then again, the longer I look at these, the more I like them. I think. Shit is def totes "my colors".

I wish they had some official music videos too! That would be cool. That's always fun. Well, when they're good its fun. 

The hardest part of writing this is trying to figure out which songs to include cause like every single one is such a fucking ripper. I like that his voice is all rough and deep and shit, like it doesn't look like what I think would come outta him based on how he look in fotos. I also dig the songs without lyrics as much as the ones with lyrics, cause the jams are so JAMMIN even without them. Which is really what I'm all about here. Well, that, and a metric ton of hair attached to some dirtbag.

I really dig the fuck out of these fucking guitar effects changin up in the Brain Cycles title track. I feel like that's how the fuck my brain be feelin sometimes too. I reckon Ima just leave y'all with that. 



He's such a fucking killer blues guitarist I just cant help but find myself totally fucking shred whipped by him. And he's got all that LAWNG BEAUTIFUL HAIYUH to boot? Just stop already. So welcome to my roster of all time favorite bands, Radio Moscow. And dear Parker Griggs, enjoy your status as crush du jour and celebrated Lockscreen Loverboy.

HAVE A GOOD TIME ON YOUR EUROPEAN TOUR AND PLZ COME MELT OUR FACES THE FUCK OFF STATESIDE THIS YEAR!

Lockscreen Loverboys™

Just a quick note for clarification:

I will often times refer to my most current object of rawk obsession as my Lockscreen Loveryboy™ (YES I am trademarking the shit out of all my various tweenage girl vernacular now). What I'm talkin bout here is my fucking phone lockscreen, which features a rotating array of glorious, lawng haired, facemelting mens of rawk. Behold, some examples:

my boyfriend Ozzy

 

 hot n sessy Gregg Allman

sweet lil Lupus Lindemann, of Kadavar

(had to feature him twice in both casual AND rawk settings)

young Jim Dandy! Lawd hep!

 

and my current (as of Feb 2015) LSLB, Parker Griggs of Radio Moscow. 

Now that you know about that part of my total tweenage fangirl part of my personality, please enjoy the rest of our regularly scheduled content.....