MOTHERFUCKIN FACEMELTING AT MELTASIA

Ever since I heard about Meltasia Music Festival I all was hot to git my ass up there. I think I heard the first announcement via Danava's fb post and I got all kinds of pumped- cause SRSLY. WTF? WHO PLAYS LaFayette GA??? (pronounced Luh-FAY-ette, cause we don't like to sound like a bunch of fucking frogs in Georgia) and then I know I heard an announcement on the Obelisk fb too and it was like cemented into my brain. 

So I started following the event page like a total fucking fangirl, and even that was awesome. Homeboy throwing the party posted up a playlist on YT to get yerself all hyped up AND HOW. In fact I basically wrote a whole post about on the RawkTalk fb comments section. But I could totally re-post them here. But first, git yerself all werked up for these prancin ponies:

BOA hot n nasty 

so clearly I was hella stoked on Black Oak Arkansas after gettin into the playlist. Like I know I had seen some BOA records before but felt suspicious of them, so I never really knew how fucking awesome they are. So nice job Meltasia for bringing that into my life. So I totally watched the documentary then got waaaaaay bent outta shape over young Jim Dandy. Behold: 

UUGGHH!!! YOUNG JIM DANDY WHAT IS NOT TO LIKE???

I even went so far as to make him my Lockscreen Loverboy™ (dig that package tho):

In between the announcement of Meltasia and the actual event I went to the World's Longest Yardsale with my mom, sisters, and niece and nephews (it was waaay fucking fun). I ended up finding several BOA records-awesome! It was actually crazy because the very first stop we made in Gadsden, AL there was a dude with a ton of vinyl spread out on a tarp in a church parking lot (under a tree, thank god)- he had a such an amazing selection of shit- but y'know in varying degrees of beat up to great condition. I got all hype for the BOA album and he was like "they used to hang out here in Gadsden a bunch back in the day, Jim Dandy n 'em....."

oddly enough- the Alabama (the band Alabama) museum is also in Gadsden, but no time to check it out...

my haul:

Totally scored that and the Grand Funk red album, Bloodrock, and fuck it I don't have Band of Gypsies on vinyl, why not. The prices were great but he kept telling me he had more vinyl in the back of his van and don't I want to look, and you know what? Actually I did, but my family was wrapping up and I really needed to jet too...but I did peek in there:

I'm good, thanks.

There was loads of other awesome stuff on that journey, but that's another story for another time....

This was scored at our final stop in Signal Mountain, TN- awesome!! 

So moving beyond my Jim Dandy crush, the festival held a contest to win tickets! Enter your own artwork for the festival mascot, Melty the possum! Now I love me some damn drawing! I am a Master of Stick Figured Renderings™. I was fully stoked to enter this contest but alas, I did not win :-( 

But it doesn't even matter because all the other drawings on the IG and FB pages were hella entertaining, and ones much better and also much worse than ours. 

our drawings:

area.personailty's depicts all the bands and Melty the possum in MS Paint glory

iwishuwould's depicts both of us in big tittied centaur form crushing Kadavar's skulls while Danava (-1, sorry for the inaccuracy) melts everyone's faces off, as well as Melty the possum, and booze bottles, and a merch table (featuring a lonely merch man)

I was super stoked to see Danava right here in my own proverbial backyard, but I think my stick figured rendering of them was slightly off, as i have never seen them in person before. here they go rawkin:



The only foreseeable problem with Meltasia was the fucking oppressive heat and humidity that defines Georgia in the summertime (and I don't know where the fuck you're from, but the first week of September in Georgia, is essentially still August, the hottest, most hellacious, month of all). Now I love rawkin, and I love camping, but I fucking HATE the heat. There is no escaping it here. The same weekend of Meltasia was the Yellow Daisy festival at Stone Mountain (my native homeland) and I was planning on hitting it before I took off to LaFayette. At one point that day I looked down to find my wrist sweating. I would have died had I spent the entire weekend at Meltasia. 

Fortunately, prior to that weekend I had enough sense, and live in such a proximity that I felt a scouting mission was in order. Find the route up there, scope the campgrounds, and feel if there is any useful difference in temperature. It was also a chance to test the waters of my new car, the wagonette. Behold, the wagonette, in the field at Cherokee farms, LaFayette, GA:

doesn't it just look hot as forty hells??

This was a good idea on my part, because I learned that it was hot as balls up there and there was no fucking way id make it camping there all weekend. It was also really sad for me to make the decision to only go for part of the festival. I really wanted to catch a lot of those bands, but I didn't need to die doing it. 

the event:

I'm a fucking shitty thief: Here's the poster I swiped with the schedule.

It was, sadly, still hot as balls, so we had to just go for one day. Although all the days had great lineups, I would have been the saddest to miss Sunday, so Sunday it was. Now in addition to Danava and BOA I was looking forward to catching Lecherous Gaze- they are label mates of Kadavar so it must be somethin to it! I really would've liked to have seen all the bands but it just wasn't in the cards man.

So anyway, we hauled our asses up there and I did my normal pre-event panic. I had even had the customary anxiety dreams about the event in the days leading up. Classic.

There was some confusion at the entry, but everyone was really friendly, so zero fucks given. We parked and spent a short eternity bracing ourselves to get out into the heat. We were instantly greeted by a super friendly older dude with a tupperware container full of mushrooms and space cake. He gave us some neighborly tips about the lay of the land, and we were good to go. This was the first inkling that this was a terribly small scale event- I kinda had wondered because of the few followers on the FB event page, but it was so many bands on the roster, and not just small names either (or at least to me), I couldn't imagine that this shit was not going to be massive. 

Perhaps the location and the temp are what kept folks away? Ain't nobody want to go to LaFayette. 

The festival had three stages, and everything was timed out to happen right after each other. It was really set up great- lots of wandering space, fucking professional looking setups, sound, lights, the werks. So once we got settled in with a beer we wandered over the orange stage 

Once again I fucking swiped this: A map of the whole party.

 Manic

This was a lovely set to get acclimated to. Also this was great because there was totally all these tents and tables and chairs and shit by the sides of the stages! Perfect for olds like us! In fact this was the perfect lotto scratchin table. And what could make for a more perfect day then scratchin some lotto and gittin yer fuckin face melted off? 

Later on we ran into them at the bbq chicken truck and told them their set was fun. FUN.

Ecstatic Vision

After re-upping on delicious beers we swayed slowly down the hill towards this totally magical sound emanating from the blue stage. This was where shit really started to hit the fan in terms of facemelting. This fucking ass shit was nonstop rocking my fucking face off. This was Ecstatic Visions from Philadelphia. They totally had TWO motherfucking drummers and homeboy on guitar/vocals had a fucking chimes set swinging from his mic. *SWEET* They had a real psychedelic sound, and it was also fucking heavy and righteous. I read on the Obelisk that they are signing up to make an album due out next year. STOKED FOR THAT SHIT. 

They were totally awesome and the dude just kept kicking the shit out the chimes when it was chime time. Love them! 

[note from area.personality:  This is about the only thing from Meltasia that I actually remember, and it was mainly because of the Crotch Chimes™.  They were truly magical.]



The view down towards the stage- can you even believe how few people were there? What in the actual hell???

After that we strolled across the field over to the other side of the lake to try and catch Mr Elevator and the Brain Hotel. I had actually like just seen the name of that band on the Austin Psych Fest fb page the other day- where they asked what bands people want to see at next years festival and I had seen someone listed them so I was kinda stoked to check it out. But to be honest I wasn't really feelin it, maybe it was just the heat. I mean, they include ORGANS which is like one of my fave psychedelic elements in music, so totally worth revisiting some other time.

We chilled out at these picnic tables for a second and scoped the lake. Maaaan, I could swim in a lake, but they just looks like they full of fuckin snakes, so no. 

[note from area.personality:  i could swim in a lake, too, but that shit was soup, and what them hippies was brewin up in there i did not want swimmin' around in my treasures.]

We caught a glimpse of Jim Motherfucking Dandy!!! and with his lady friend! They were a sight to behold, but man i had to go into str8 up stalker mode to take this foto. Its not like they even gave a shit people were totally coming up for fotos, and we should've totally done it too but sadly I was in panic mode so we had to use Stalker Vision™ to capture this image. There they go, way the fuck back there:

Lecherous Gaze 

We walked back over to the blue stage to see Lecherous Gaze and also to eat. By that time the only food options were bbq chicken legs and burgers. And that was fiiine. Eating and waiting for LG under the tent we also saw Black Linen from Atlanta- it was kinda jangly poppy sounding and we were not really feeling it, but I mean they sounded good, just not what I'm into. 

Delicious foods of Meltasia 

the crowd for Lecherous Gaze from our vantage point seated under the tent (clearly more people came out than earlier since the sun was going away)

StalkerVision™ activate! ultra zoom fotos of facemelting

To be honest I really was diggin LG but I was not really feelin the singer- he kept just, well, basically doing what I do when I'm all wasted which is just kinda slur and grunt out all the words to songs. Maybe he was wasted? Maybe they always sound like that. Who knows. The band was great tho and I still fully enjoyed that shit. 

Here's what they be soundin like:



It was all cool how that hill was back there in the background, it made for some artsy shots whenever hippies and the like would wander up there. 

Black Oak Arkansas

This was the most crowded I saw any one stage the whole time we were there. It was a nice time of day when things started to cool off just a pube, and the mood got all romantical what with the sun going down and all. We wandered around to find a nice place to sit and vape and vape and bitch together. 

To be perfectly honest I was kinda bummed out because they were playing all their new music and not the hits (which is totally fiiiine, but i mean, y'know...) and it was kinda slower jams and I just was not feelin it. But it was a cool vibe and in between songs he kept sputtering out all this madness and I had no idea what the fuck he was going on about like at all. Maybe it was just me. Maybe it was him. Who knows. But either way that was kinda fun. 

[note from area.personality:  ok, i do remember this.  it was just awful.  sorry dawg.  i actually made us move before it was over to get my body away from this mess.  BOA had their moment.  it's fucking over.  srsly.]

Finally we had to take off towards the final show we were gonna be able to catch which was Danava. Sadly we had to return to Atlanta that night and therefore couldn't experience Meltasia in all its intended glory. But we were in for one last kickass surprise:

DANAVA FEATURING JIM MOTHERFUCKING DANDY

and that was totally the proverbial cherry on top. 

and here was what that looked like: 

and here was what it sounded like:


Well it looks like homeboy is going to do it again next year, but sadly it may be in Florida somewhere. Somewhere even hotter and swampier. That's not to say I wouldn't go. I'd totally go. 

BUT WAIT: YOU FORGOT THE FUCKING MERCH!!!!!!!!!

OMG I almost cried when I realized I forgot to get some fucking MERCH, maaaaaaan!

I got all into a panic once I realized my error. I frantically sent homeboy a message, begging for merch. And he was so kind he actually sent me some fucking shirts. GOD BLESS YOU, ANDY ANIMAL!!

Here I go in my merch. Behold, the look of satisfaction:

And here goes some innerwebz stalkerazzi fotos of Andy Animal, homeboy who threw the party.

MMMMMM DREAMBOAT HEARTTHROB LOVERBOY. 

I would be remiss if I did not fret over at least one boy during this entry. As you all know I typically go for the lawng haired skittly type. But I especially love me a big ol sloppy dirtbag type, although it would be inaccurate to call this man a dirtbag. He was totally kind (with regards to the merch) and obvi threw a kickass party. Luckily I am not the only chick on the innerweb with a major boner for him, so I feel slightly less crazy admitting this here (alternatively every chick I work with has seen these fotos and listened to me get all werked up over him ad nauseum, just as I have listened to every detail of their crushes on every clean cut vanilla ass white boy/dark chocolate baldhead). All that being said, it kind of ruins it for me, in terms of talking SO MUCH MOTHERFUCKING SHIT about how hot a dude is after having actually interacted with him in some level in real life.

All of that being said, I would like to dedicate this Ween song to dear Andy: we had the best time at your party, amigo. Hope to get our fucking faces melted off at meltasia again in 2015!!!